lyrics project

Knees and Pray
Artist: Oasis
Song: Gas Panic
Album: Standing on the shoulders of Giants
Model: Izabela
Location: Bristol, UK


Notes:-
The 90’s for me were full of the things that fill many people’s ordinary lives, growing up I guess. I got married for the first time, my two beautiful children were born, I bought a nice house and was becoming successful in my career. Music became exciting again with bands like Oasis echoing the feeling in the UK at the time.

This song had resonance for me because of its subject. Panic attacks. I had them. I couldn’t explain what was happening to me or why (my life was seemingly perfect) or where these things came from but inside, I was screaming. The only thing was, unlike the song, they weren’t happening to me at night. The song however, gave me hope that I wasn’t the only one suffering. It got so bad and affected every part of life. I would refuse to go anywhere I knew crowds of people were likely to be. I wouldn’t be in control, I might not be able to get out easily, I wouldn’t know the venue. My fear was of passing out. My breathing would become erratic, my head light but I never actually fainted. I feared fainting more than anything in the world at the time. The only way I could face going anywhere with crowds of people would be to get drunk. So, I either drank myself to a stupor or made increasingly pathetic excuses and didn’t go out. It got so bad I went to my Doctor and she was fantastic. She asked me about my life, I told her what was going on at the time and she simply said you HAVE to change something big in your life. Your body can’t cope with the stress and this is its way of telling you. 6 months later I left my wife.

My cure however wasn’t splitting with my wife, it was coffee. I gave up caffeine having read an article in the Sunday Times. I used to drink gallons a day. I haven’t touched it since and largely don’t suffer from panic attacks any more. To this day I’ve no idea if it actually was too much caffeine or if I convinced myself it was, either way, I’m eternally grateful to that article I chanced upon!

The image deals with that feeling inside. The panic, the loneliness and the desperation. The figure in the window represents many things. The reality of feeling others noticing your weakness and the voice that makes the anxiety worse are just two. The line “you’d better get on your knees and pray…” is particularly meaningful as when I felt like this, despite being anti-religious, I would’ve done anything to stop feeling the way I did!

Knees and Pray
Artist: Oasis
Song: Gas Panic
Album: Standing on the shoulders of Giants
Model: Izabela
Location: Bristol, UK


Notes:-
The 90’s for me were full of the things that fill many people’s ordinary lives, growing up I guess. I got married for the first time, my two beautiful children were born, I bought a nice house and was becoming successful in my career. Music became exciting again with bands like Oasis echoing the feeling in the UK at the time.

This song had resonance for me because of its subject. Panic attacks. I had them. I couldn’t explain what was happening to me or why (my life was seemingly perfect) or where these things came from but inside, I was screaming. The only thing was, unlike the song, they weren’t happening to me at night. The song however, gave me hope that I wasn’t the only one suffering. It got so bad and affected every part of life. I would refuse to go anywhere I knew crowds of people were likely to be. I wouldn’t be in control, I might not be able to get out easily, I wouldn’t know the venue. My fear was of passing out. My breathing would become erratic, my head light but I never actually fainted. I feared fainting more than anything in the world at the time. The only way I could face going anywhere with crowds of people would be to get drunk. So, I either drank myself to a stupor or made increasingly pathetic excuses and didn’t go out. It got so bad I went to my Doctor and she was fantastic. She asked me about my life, I told her what was going on at the time and she simply said you HAVE to change something big in your life. Your body can’t cope with the stress and this is its way of telling you. 6 months later I left my wife.

My cure however wasn’t splitting with my wife, it was coffee. I gave up caffeine having read an article in the Sunday Times. I used to drink gallons a day. I haven’t touched it since and largely don’t suffer from panic attacks any more. To this day I’ve no idea if it actually was too much caffeine or if I convinced myself it was, either way, I’m eternally grateful to that article I chanced upon!

The image deals with that feeling inside. The panic, the loneliness and the desperation. The figure in the window represents many things. The reality of feeling others noticing your weakness and the voice that makes the anxiety worse are just two. The line “you’d better get on your knees and pray…” is particularly meaningful as when I felt like this, despite being anti-religious, I would’ve done anything to stop feeling the way I did!